Patience

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” –Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Tonight I am trying very hard to have patience.  Although I don’t know that I am being all that successful!

I took my NCLEX-PN exam today.  Thanks to lots of prayers, I went into the test feeling very calm.  I was ready for what it would throw my way!

The test doesn’t have a certain number of questions.  It can be anywhere from 85-205 questions in length.  It is a CAT test, which means:

CAT successively selects questions so as to maximize the precision of the exam based on what is known about the examinee from previous questions.^[1] From the examinee's perspective, the difficulty of the exam seems to tailor itself to his or her level of ability. For example, if an examinee performs well on an item of intermediate difficulty, he will then be presented with a more difficult question. Or, if he performed poorly, he would be presented with a simpler question. Compared to static multiple choice tests that nearly everyone has experienced, with a fixed set of items administered to all examinees, computer-adaptive tests require fewer test items to arrive at equally accurate scores.^[1] (Of course, there is nothing about the CAT methodology that requires the items to be multiple-choice; but just as most exams are multiple-choice, most CAT exams also use this format.)

The basic computer-adaptive testing method is an iterative algorithm with the following steps:^[2]

1. The pool of available items is searched for the optimal item, based on the current estimate of the examinee's ability
2. The chosen item is presented to the examinee, who then answers it correctly or incorrectly
3. The ability estimate is updated, based upon all prior answers
4. Steps 1–3 are repeated until a termination criterion is met

Nothing is known about the examinee prior to the administration of the first item, so the algorithm is generally started by selecting an item of medium, or medium-easy, difficulty as the first item.

As a result of adaptive administration, different examinees receive quite different tests.

(above info can be found here)

Once the test makes a determination of passing or failing, it shuts off.  And when I say “shut off” it does just that.  I answered the minimum number of questions, 85, and my screen just blacks out!

Talking about feeling queasy and sick to you stomach! That is a gross understatement to describe the way I felt and STILL feel at this moment. 

Many have asked me today how I thought I did.  Really…I cannot answer that.  I know it is hard to believe that one could take a test and not have a feeling one way or the other.  But ‘tis true. 

I now must try to have a little patience as I await my test scores.  I’m praying the are posted tomorrow morning.  As soon as they are available I will post them and hopefully get a little sleep.  I have a feeling it will be a very restless night tonight!

And a BIG thank you to all you for your thoughts and prayers today…that were greatly appreciated!!!

Confidently Follow

That title is a mouthful!  This is something that has been on my mind in the last few days, so I thought I would share.

How many times have we let ourselves be talked out of following our hopes and dreams?  For me personally, it seems that I can be my own enemy.

Deep within each of us are desires and dreams.  Some that we may share, and others simply personal goals that we would one day like achieve.  So, what keeps us from getting there?

Many times we begin to doubt ourselves.  Maybe we feel that we are not worthy, or not smart enough, or the dream is simply to big.  But is this really true?  REALLY?

I believe God places dreams and desires in our hearts.  For He knows us better than anyone else.  He knows our abilities, as well as our weaknesses.  He too knows that if we trust Him, those weaknesses can be overcome to reach destination.

And just when we feel that we are too weak and tired to continue the pursuit, He reaches down and helps us through until we are ready to stand strong again.

In the last year, I have experienced many moments of ups and downs as I have followed where God has led me.  Nursing school is not for the faint of heart…it is tough! And in the moments when I felt like I couldn’t take another step forward, He would meet me in that moment and give me the strength to take the next step.

And I know that He will continue to give me strength as I prepare for one of the hardest tests I will have to take…my licensing exam.

So…follow your dreams with confidence.  Don’t let the world tell you that you can’t or doubt the abilities that God has given you.  Anything is possible when we let go and allow God to lead our steps!

 

Peace

Peace I leave to you; my peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14: 27

In the last year I have faced many trials…and have found my way through them.  Some easier to tackle than others.

And now, I find myself facing a giant.  The nature of this giant will remain unstated.  It is one of those situations in which you think you are doing all as it should be, only to find out that isn’t the case.

I have found myself shedding tears periodically throughout the day.  And at times very agitated over the whole thing.  But tonight as I sat here reading, I was reminded of the above verse.

In situations that are out of our control, we have but one thing to do.  And that is to turn it over and let God’s peace replace the fear.  Let that sweet peace wash away what the world has taught us and trust that God knows all.

{To Become}

 

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” -Lao Tzu

Many times in life we can become our own enemy.  We doubt ourselves, our abilities, and our strength.  And by doing so, we miss the mark.  We miss out on something great in life by letting fear weasel its way into our head.

We should be confident in ourselves, and in our abilities.  And by standing strong, facing the challenges of life head-on, we find some of life’s most amazing moments!

{Just For Thoughts}

“Never have regrets about anything.  Each tiny thing shapes you into a stronger person than you were yesterday.  It is how you become who you are today.”

So I am a fan of quotes.  I use them on my blog often as you may have noticed.  But sometime these simple little lines can speak volumes.  And when one does, I like to share it.

One thing I learned early on is that mistakes will be made.  And while some will be more life-altering than others, they all have an impact.  It is a way in which we learn and grow.

I could choose to look back and have regrets and beat myself up over choices that I have made…or I can look forward, letting those choices shape and mold me into the person that I am now.  I chose to look forward!

Here’s to an amazing week…Happy Monday everyone!!! 

{Chances}

“You’ve got take some chances, you’ve got to risk losing it all.  You’ve got to close your eyes and leap because it may be worth the fall!”

I can’t get this out of my mind, so I thought I would pass it on!  It is so true that we miss out on things because we are scared of the fall, or we can’t see what is waiting around the corner.  But in those moments we do simply let go and take that leap of FAITH, we find ourselves with some of life’s greatest blessings.

So…don’t wait!  Take that leap and see what is waiting!!!

{365-8}

If you worry a lot, then day after day you are learning how to worry even better. If you think about doing something a lot, then you are learning how to think about doing. Every moment you are happy, you are learning how to be even happier. Every time you act, you are learning how to take an action even better. What is it that you've been learning today? What is it that you want to learn tomorrow?

That is just a little something that I came across and I thought I would share!

{My Thoughts}

So what is it that truly makes a person happy? I guess the answer would be slightly different for each person that is answering that question.

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect, it means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

I fell in love with this quote the moment I read it!  It took a few life lessons for me to realize that life is never perfect and rarely ever does it follow the plan you set.  For me this has always been a hard thing.  Mainly because of that Type A personality I have.  And the fact that I tend to be a perfectionist. 

Imperfections are simply part of life.  Little hiccups that can sometimes set our heads spinning.  Those hiccups are definitely the difference in our attitude toward life.

So…I have made a personal goal that I will not let the imperfections of everyday life take away my happy.  Life is truly what we make of it!

{Learn, Live, Hope}

Albert Einstein said “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”  And it is now one of my most favorite quotes.  The words rang out loud and clear when I read them. 

Life is a learning experience.  Each choice we make in life has an outcome.  Sometimes this outcome is favorable, sometimes it is not.  But it is from those unfavorable moments that we learn.  We learn who we are and sometimes just how strong we are. 

We are not promised another day.  So enjoy each moment of every day.  I decided long ago not to live in regrets or should haves…but to live each day to the fullest and to be happy. 

Each tomorrow should be filled with hope and dreams.  There is no dream that is too big!

And as we enter 2011, I will continue to Learn, Live and Hope.  What about you?

{Gratitude}

{What About The Small Things}

I saw this quote earlier today and it pretty much stopped me in my tracks.  This is what it read:

Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.  ~Estonian Proverb

Just how often do I…and you…take time to stop and be thankful for the small things in life.  The things that many times we simply take for granted and not even think about.  And then we get caught up thinking about all the things we “wish” we had and become unhappy when we cannot have them for whatever reason.

So I challenge you tonight.  Make out a list of all the things that you are thankful for. 

Here’s my list:

1. Family and friends that love me for who I am…unconditionally.
2. A sweet furry baby that always knows how to make me smile after a long day.
3. A roof over my head.
4. Food in my fridge.
5. Clothes to wear.
6. A chance to go back to school and follow my dream.
7. My camera…which I’d be completely lost without.
8. A car to get me where I need to go.
9. Good health…especially now that I am in nursing school!
10. My faith.
11. Modern technology…cell phone, computer, tv, etc.
12. My freedom, which would not be possible without those that are currently serving, have served, or gave the ultimate sacrifice.

{Rough Draft of Life}

I recently read a quote, author unknown, that caught my attention.  It read: 

“Living involves tearing up one rough draft after another.”

As I read it, I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh!  Because is it SO true.  How many times do we plan something out only to have life change it?  All the time.  We plan for an outdoor party and then the rain decides to arrive without warning.  Or company shows up unexpectedly as you are getting ready to leave.  While those are just small things that occur, there are many life altering events that bring about the need to alter life’s plan. 

I am getting better at learning to let go and just enjoy the roller coaster ride of life.  And while I am very much the one that likes full control of everything, I’m learning that sometimes things just won’t work with me in charge.  2010 has been a year to teach me that life’s plan requires many rough drafts so to speak.  But each rough draft has brought about new and exciting changes in my life.

I’m excited to see how the rest of this chapter in my life will unfold!

{Life is…}

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”

These words really do say it all.  Life is precious & fleeting.  There are no guarantees as to what your next breath may hold.  So many times we…and by we I am including myself…get caught up worrying about the little things, get angry over something that really isn’t worth getting angry over, and forget to smile.  And I am so guilty of this!

Life is a challenge…a day by day, minute by minute challenge.  But how much better would life be if we stopped looking at the glass half-empty?  If we just stood up and faced the day to day challenges head-on instead of standing there complaining, I think we would start to see life in a totally new perspective!

There will always be challenges in our lives, it is up to us to decide how we will handle them!

{Laugh or Cry}

How true this saying is.  Life is never a cake walk.  I know there are times that I would love to just throw in the towel.  To say ENOUGH.  But if we were to do that every single time life got hard, what would we learn?  Absolutely nothing. 

Through tears we find strength and an inner fight that we never knew we had.  But it is in the laughter we learn that we can move forward.  Things will be ok.  That this too shall pass.  And with that laughter comes a much clearer outlook on life!

Nursing Student Diagnosis

Yep…his pretty much sums up my life as a nursing student!!!  Lack of sleep, no thought of a social life, the bank is broke and there is most definitely not enough hours in the day to do all that needs to be done!

Other than that, life is pretty good.  I am counting down to a much needed long weekend.  Count with me:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 days off :)  Yes, this makes me one very happy nursing student.  Granted…there will still be case studies to complete and a test to study for; but, no getting up before the crack of dawn!  Maybe somewhere in those off days I can enjoy a little sunshine and put my toes in the water.  It seems like FOREVER since they have been in the sand and water.

Reflection

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

As I sit here and look at all the changes that are taking place in my life, I cannot help but look back on the road that has led me to this very point.  I am where I started out at 11 years ago.  A high school graduate ready to conquer the world and begin my career as a nurse.  But life had other plans for me. 

There were a few twists and turns, a few back-flips, and lots of learning between then and now.

Today, I am back in that same spot beginning my career as a nurse.  And it was today that I realized one very important thing.  I could not have done this 11 years ago.  There were too many life lessons that I needed to learn in order to get to this point. 

I am thankful for all of the tomatoes that life has thrown at me.  They have given me strength, courage, discipline, and have shown me that I can handle anything that may come my way.

So I stand here now, writing my next life chapter and anxiously waiting to see what the ending will be.

I Think I’ve Found It

Yes…I think that I am really and truly finding happiness in my life.  And I came across this quote earlier today that really summarizes things perfectly:

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.  It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Those two short sentences really say it all.  Life will never be perfect.  There will always flaws…we’re human and we make mistakes.  But when we can see past the imperfections and see to the heart, that is where the happiness resides.

Happiness

“Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible.” St. Augustine

I recently read this quote the other day. And it really made me stop and think. We are always in pursuit of what brings us happiness but many times we come up short.

Why is that?

For me, I let life get too busy. And in that “too busy” I loose sight of the things that are important to me. The small things that bring me joy and make me smile. I don’t take time to stop and enjoy the view or smell the roses.

Sometimes I think we need a time-out. A chance to stop the mary-go-round and regain our focus. Enjoy the little things that make us laugh and bring a smile to our faces. And in doing so, happiness will once again find a place in our life.

So what is that makes happiness seem impossible in your life?

 

How do you see it?

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Winston Churchill once said:

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

And it really got me thinking. It is so much easier to be pessimistic. It will take too much time or be too hard. As I look around, the world in generally wants easy and anything that alters from this easy trend gets a negative label.

But just what are we missing out on in life by not taking a positive view? How would things be different if we decided to look for the positive in all situations? After all, it is when we face difficulties that we learn life lessons.

This is one area of my life that I am still working on. And as I put this principle to practice in my life, I find that I am becoming a much happier person. The world is starting to look different. I have a long way to go as old habits are not changed overnight, but I am determined to look for the opportunity in all things, no matter how difficult it may be.